Sunday, August 28, 2016

Rest

It is Sunday, the day of rest, and that is what we are doing.
We were all up early so going to the early service at our church was easy. Right before he went into his class, Aquaman, who had been up since 5:30 am following a nightmare, told me that his stomach hurt. I asked if he wanted to just go home and he said no, it wasn't that bad. He has been dealing with reflux again, so while I wondered, especially when he only took 1 bite of his weekly and highly prized donut hole, I wasn't that concerned. I asked the leaders to page me if he started feeling worse.
He was quiet but fine at church. When we got home he said his stomach was a little better but his head hurt and he was cold. Sigh. 101 fever. Thank you, once again, school.

So Greystoke is napping and Aquaman is the only place he can handle right now, on the couch, and the Dude is keeping him company.
I have been pretty exhausted myself, and also have my 2nd cold in a month...I never get colds! So, while the housework is endlessly piling up now that I am working every day of the week, and sometimes this house feels like a dark cave that will swallow me up with its clutter and grime....I know I have no real choice but to sit down and rest for a while too.
I will probably be a mean mom and drag my sick kid to the beach and make him sit on a towel for 15 minutes just so I can get my Sunday fix and the other 2 can burn some energy for a few. And since he is probably going to get out of going to school tomorrow, the sick kid will probably not complain too much.

We survived our first 2 full weeks of school, and my working during them.

The mornings were often dramatic.


The Dude has had a harder time adjusting than I thought he would, though I suppose I should have seen it coming since he always resisted the longer lunch bunch days of preschool. Kindergarten is really long these days. When we were kids we went to Kindergarten for 4 hours and then came home and had a nap.
These days they go for 6.5 and then come home and do homework.
Though, to be fair, he hasn't gotten any yet thank goodness, but I suspect it will start this week.
Though the mornings have been difficult, they have been manageable, and not quite as dramatic as last year. The afternoons have been much better for Aquaman. He has less homework and is less micro managed by his current teacher and he is handling that better. He is much more relaxed when he comes home now. He does still cry occasionally at night, but has not wished he was dead yet. He still hates school, and is already falling behind in a few timed assignments, though he is light years ahead in most things.
He has started chewing his shirt kind of obsessively since school started. He is receiving occupational therapy weekly now which I think is going to be helpful, though it feels like a lot of effort on my part and the copays will add up. I decided to think of it like his sport since I am not actually paying for any sports or busing him around to them. His Grandma put him in gymnastics and takes him there weekly, but he is not interested in doing any other activities.
He has fine motor difficulties so we are working on using silverware properly and learning to tie his shoes, and that is how we were able to get it covered by insurance, but the main issues they are addressing are his sensory ones. He craves deep sensory input, running into the walls, slamming his feet into the ground, and doesn't have much concept of where his body is in space, and yet soft touches make him go through the roof and he perceives them as pain. He has always been like that. I used to joke when he was a baby screaming and squirming in my arms that he was chiding me to "hold me right!" which meant very tightly in certain positions. He has never liked when I stroked his cheek or played with his hair. We are also working on his eating since he is so particular...the OT orders a tray of food from the cafeteria and he has to keep it in front of him, move it around, smell it, and then take one bite. She was impressed by his ability to gag on the most miniscule of bites.
But overall he is doing so much better. He has matured so much recently. He is able to hold things together better, he is able to think about others occasionally. He has found a new best friend at school who has been very good for him, doesn't push him, and they enjoy each other's company.
He is going to start testing through a local university soon as this was the cheapest place I could find to do it. They specialize in autism but assured me months ago that they do full evals for all types of children and learning disorders. So i was really disappointed at the intake appointment this past week, after I had paid in full for the testing when they told me they were going to start with a test for autism and would proceed with further testing if indicated. I ended up calling the next day and asking for my money back because I know he does not have autism and thought I would just be wasting our time and money. And now they have him scheduled for comprehensive IQ testing, which is what we needed. It can tell us things about his processing speed, his attention span etc. They also assured me they wouldn't stop until they had turned over every stone to help him, so I feel so much better now.

Greystoke....well he is just loving school. And life. Always a sunshine. Always a help.
Except of course when he is acting like a 2 year old or something....

Each morning he cries when we drop off the other 2 at school because he has to wait an hour for his school to start. He never cries when I drop him off, just grins from ear to ear,
Of course he is also always equally happy to be picked up too.
The weeks are busy and full and happy.
I am often so tired that I feel like I can't go on, but I find little ways to grab at rest, little ways to cheat, and little ways to feel connected to God, and to each child, and to my husband, and they feel like enough.
At night, when I am struggling to sleep despite the weight of weariness, I find solace in quiet words with the creator of the universe. The one who formed the ocean, and the stars in the sky, and the love in my husband's eyes, and the red curls and stick straight white locks, and who is the creator and giver of life itself.

In the early mornings before the sun comes up I snuggle my Greystoke, just a little longer.
Before bed, I read Aquaman and The Dude a funny story and then do the joint compressions recommended by OT on both of them.
After all the kids are in their rooms, JT and I get to steal a few minutes together to watch tv and get ready for bed and talk about life, and usually do something on the computer for his work. But even that isn't so hard, because it is time spent together.



We practice our master builder skills together.



Aquaman is up watching the Lego movie in his room now. He was starting to feel like he is going to throw up, and I am hoping to contain it if that does happen, though I suspect if he hasn't thrown up yet he isn't going to. Or maybe I am just really hoping, since I still have post traumatic stress disorder from our last family episode with that.
The Dude is sitting behind talking in my ear and making it really hard to concentrate. And I am pretty sure I hear Greystoke calling for me upstairs, which means rest time is over for both of us.
Maybe I will wait until JT is home and then go stare at the ocean by myself for a few minutes one last time before another week begins.

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