Temperatures have hovered around 95 degrees, with the heat index about 10 degrees hotter. The house stays around 80, sometimes higher if the boys are in and out a lot. I am tired and hot and have a headache most of the time.
I love my family so much. I love my job so much.
But right now, my head kind of just feels like it's going to explode.
Because the thing is, I love having all the kids home. I love not running around to school, and the thought of school starting and the battles that will ensue, and the way my older son will change is just totally anxiety inducing. I really don't even want to think about it.
I am finally starting to feel like a good mother again. I am finally starting to see the soft side of him come out again.
I am occasionally daydreaming about having my tubes tied just for the excuse to lay in bed for 2 days.
I have been doing really much better at sneaking upstairs for 20 minutes in the morning and having time to journal and pray and read my Bible, and that has been so good for my soul. But it also sometimes just doesn't feel like enough.
But if I waited to sit down until everything was done, I would never sit down, so sometimes I just have to give up. Greystoke is in my lap because he didn't take a nap and is a total disaster, and the other 2 are upstairs watching the Lego movie, and I am making oatmeal in the rice cooker for dinner. Yes oatmeal. I am tired.