Sunday, March 20, 2016
Spring Break 2016
I undertook the monumental task of sorting clothes last weekend. I didn't think it was going to be as monumental as it was, but apparently I kind of threw things around in boxes willy nilly last year, and this year I paid the price. I boxed up the size 18 months and the size 4 years, and every one of their long sleeves and pants.
And tomorrow it's a high of 68 and a low of 48.
Guess I jumped the gun. March is like that.
And most of all, just tired.
I feel kind of old. My neck hurts most of the time from sleeping in strange positions.
But when I stop to look at him for even 5 seconds, I just totally melt. His tantrums are adorable. I love when he twists his face up and says: "no!" Especially because he usually cracks up laughing almost immediately after. He's my sweet little tow-headed baby.
Aquaman is trying to convince me to buy him a snake. He said "Mom, I just need someone to talk to, you know? And you won't buy me a dog?"
Does he know the right thing to say to a mother, or what? So I told him, we're not getting a snake any time soon, but let's go to the store and pretend we are, and pick out one and where it will live.
I didn't feel that gross about it.
But after about 10 minutes of being surrounded by snake cages I was totally grossed out. I can't. Not yet.
We made pancakes. I told Greystoke to say "Pancakes!" and he gave me this look...."No!" Oh, couldn't you just kiss those cheeks?
Aquaman was almost the exact same age that Greystoke is when we moved in.
It's so interesting to see how each child approaches life differently, still with the same zest, but at a different angle.
What an intricate and amazing creator we have.
Soccer, where he barely went after the ball and played patty cake on the field with his team mate the whole time. I think he says it just to say it. Just because it feels good to be contrary. Just because he's The Dude in all his 5 year old glory.
Greystoke is a totally different audience than The Dude was back when Aquaman was playing tball. I had to hold The Dude back from charging the field at every game. Greystoke, true to form, just watches the game. He's a visual learner, the first of his kind in our family, and I marvel that his hands are not always everywhere like theirs were.
He sat in the dirt and built tracks. Often, he didn't realize his team had left the field until they started batting. I love these memories.
This time of year is always so hard. It's so much work for him, and it's so lonely for me.
I've grown up since then. I know that I, and my boys, are not unloved just because my husband's job and now jobs require him to work the weekends in the spring.
And as I was sitting on the grass there in my one tank top that is not all stained up and my favorite pair of shorts and feeling slightly awkward but mostly just fine, one of the other mothers came up to me and said "we were just talking about how calm you always are. You've got these 3 boys, and you're doing it alone, and you look so happy and calm."
But it's spring break, and I'm glad for that. Aquaman got his report card last week. He is below grade level for neat handwriting and correct punctuation and capitals and doing his personal best, and his teacher said he still feels that he is not trying, but I can tell you something else. He's not anxious anymore. He's not crying. He's not exploding the moment he comes home. He is turning in his writing and he is doing the best he can emotionally and physically do, and I am happy with how things are going. For the first time in his school career I did not check the box requesting a conference because I don't see the point in rehashing our differences. One more grading period and then it will be summer and next year we can start again.
In the meantime, he is loving the gifted program. He has reunited with his best friend from kindergarten who is also in the class. They actually play like regular kids on the playground. I can't tell you how it feels to watch him giggling and being lighthearted and not fighting with another child on the playground. To see them sitting close to each other and his not feeling invaded. There are many complicated days ahead for us I am sure, but things are better right now, and for that I am very thankful.
Isaiah 41: 9-10
Right where he wants me to be.
And not afraid.
Posted by Joy at Sunday, March 20, 2016