For the past several years, there has also been competition prep to make things even crazier.
Boys are so weird and gross.
My sister K came to visit. It went too fast like it always does, but we soaked it up while we could.
The Dude turned 5 years old last Friday. A whole handful.
Spring break is only 2 weeks away.
Summer camp schedules are starting to come out.
A couple of nights ago, as he lay in bed contemplating all of this, Aquaman said: "Mom? My teacher is a really good teacher. And he is a really nice person. He was just not the best teacher for me."
I have struggled a lot the past couple of months because many of my Christian friends whose parenting I admire home school their kids. And I wish I could too. There is a new hybrid Christian homeschool on beachside that has 2 days of private school and 3 days of homeschool of which they give you the curriculum, and I would love to do something like that.
But what it comes down to is, today at least, and all we have is today, it is just not possible.
This is a new stage of parenting and of letting go for me. When Aquaman was a baby I struggled a lot with having to work, even part time. I felt that the ideal was to be home with him. Slowly time healed that wound. I have seen how God has provided for us with grandparents to care for our children, and part time family centered jobs with great schedules and that I have felt like I could really make an impact with. He is more than provided us with everything that we need.
It is my nature to fight through every angle. One of my nursing school references wrote: "J leaves no stone un turned."
I like to turn the stones over. I like to look at every angle. I am highly idealistic. I am willing to make great sacrifices for those ideals. But sometimes I have to set the stones down, sigh, and admit that this is not the Garden. Life is not always ideal. And my thoughts are so much smaller than His thoughts.
And so I trust that where I cannot go, God will go with him. He will go ahead of him. And He will use these less than ideal conditions to accomplish His will in Aquaman's life.
Aquaman will always be a quirky boy. He will always be different. That's ok.
I love him. I love all my crazy boys. I love the impulsivity, I love that they don't want to be controlled. What a holy and wonderful word is no! They will need to use it in so many important ways in the future.
In all its take-off-your-diaper-and-poop-on-the-floor, and scowl and hold your ground, or else go totally rag doll limp and screech like someone is killing you glory. 2.
He loved seeing Aunt "Tatie" and "Bart". He loves his Papa, and puts Papa down for a nap while he quietly slips out of the room because he already thinks he's getting too big for such a thing as naps.
He had such a great birthday.
Aquaman was almost as excited as The Dude. He woke him up and dragged him out of bed at 5:10 am. I heard the ruckus and was sure someone was sick or having a nightmare or something. When I made it down the stairs and saw them both up, I told them to go back to bed. The Dude said "so THAT'S why I am so tired." and fell cheerfully back asleep. But Aquaman lay in his bed "thinking" and staring out the window until the sun rose.
He has never been excited about books like his other 2 brothers, but his current obsession is wild jungle animals, and at the library last week he found a chapter book about Cheetahs and practically has it memorized.
He wants to go to zoo camp this summer.
On Saturday he had his first t-ball game and it went so much better than soccer!
But I didn't have to drag The Dude. He practically dragged me.
Life is hard, there are so many unknowns around the bend. There are so many struggles all around us, so much pain, so much sin, including in my own heart.
But lately I have been falling asleep reading Ecclesiastes and thanking God for the beauty today. For the joy in the labor of it. For the feeling of a soft bed after a long day. For the laughter of my children. The hugs. The hope.
Meaningless, Meaningless. Everything is not meaningless.
Because He lives. Because He makes the sun set every single day in its pinks and oranges, but sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own little selves that we don't stop to notice it.
Because He has set eternity in our hearts, even as he washes the dirt off our feet.