|This is the best in the world. These are two of my favorite things and they love each other.|
|He has HAIR. Haha. And it's not at all red....yet. And also, it was a very windy day. And also, I love him.|
|Yes you will, Dude|
|Justin was as bad as the children about talking instead of smiling. The apples do not fall far from the tree. :)|
I also found a chores app for Aquaman's new tablet and gave him 3 chores and am starting a very small allowance that he can keep track of in the app and he is thrilled. Along with some small financial incentives for doing extra reading and math.
And given the choice between tending my soul and my body, I must choose my soul every time. It is the only part of me that is eternal.
I don't know what year it was, because I was too young for years to matter much to me then. I don't even remember how old I was. And I only have small snippets of memories of him. But his life and his death are a big part of who I have become.
We're only one "accident" away from despair, and I say that not in an anxious way, not in a hopeless way, but in a sober way. It's what keeps me on my knees. Not asking to be spared that pain, because pain will always come in this world, but to be ready in my heart for it.
I'm not really sure exactly where I am going with all of this except to say that it matters, wherever we are. And that we shouldn't be afraid of it, because we are all human. And also to say that just because I am such a happy and thankful person today doesn't mean I always was, or that I won't have hard days again,
He has an IQ of 142, which the psychologist said means he is cognitively a 10 year old. His processing level is only average, likely, as the psychologist explained, due to ADHD. His impulsive and scattered brain makes it almost impossible to sort through the way too much information flying rapidly through it at all times and that makes actual performance at school very difficult even though he is so intelligent.
He is performing in reading comprehension, spelling, and math at the level of a mid third grader. He is actually in 1st grade. And emotionally he is in kindergarten. And his writing is on grade level, but certainly not at the level it should be compared to his cognitive age.
Instead, he is an "at risk" gifted child, with higher stakes. The psychologist warned that he is already teetering dangerously on "amotivational" syndrome in regards to school, and that steps need to be taken to ensure that he is challenged and encouraged properly.
Thankfully one of my best friends is a special education specialist, and she is helping me in navigating the school system with this. I would be so lost without her. Google searches aren't nearly as helpful as a real live person who loves you pointing you in the right direction.
So the next step is officially requesting a full psychoeducational test through the school system. And help for him will not come without a fight, I know. I know because I took The Dude for an evaluation last year, and came away with a very bad taste in my mouth about how little anyone actually wants to help your kid. If they pass the tests it doesn't matter to them whether they're coming home in knots every day and not getting the education they need. Because their resources will go to the kid who isn't passing the test. Because that's where the money is. And that's the sad state of things these days.
But we'll fight.
I can remember crying every day on my way to school in upper elementary. Mine wasn't from academic problems. I was lucky in being above average intelligence with little learning trouble, so school was relatively easy for me (though I can say beyond a doubt, I wouldn't have finished nursing school without ritalin because, as mentioned before, I am very scattered too). I also had and have terrible handwriting.
I cried because of my brother. Because my mom had cancer. Because of a particular bully who targeted my sensitive nature.
I know that little kids can have big feelings. I've been there.