I have been trying desperately to get into the "Christmas Spirit", but for whatever reason it hasn't been easy this year.
So far I think one of my favorite Christmas activities this year was Christmas caroling.
The Dude absolutely loved it, and I loved watching him.
He sang so seriously, with his mouth a perfect "o" during the Gloria part of Angels We have Heard on High. Swaying in usual carried-away-by-the-music fashion, especially to what he referred to as "his song", Silent Night. I could just eat him up.
Greystoke was a little in awe of the whole thing, but he was glad to be in the arms of his Papa.
With one stop to see Santa.
As usual, the older boys refused to come anywhere near Santa. Like frightened wild animals, they darted forward, grabbed their candy canes, and backed quickly out of the room.
Greystoke didn't get off so easily.
|This would have been the best picture ever but something was on my lens....|
364 days of the year I embrace the noise and the chaos and the fun of being a mom of 3 boys. But 1 day a year, I would like to be totally alone. I am really going to try to make that happen.
Sally's children are grown, and she likes to talk about how well they turned out, and how that is because she was so intentional in parenting them.
But there is a cynical part of me that knows that sometimes you can parent children to the best of your ability, and they will still choose their own way. And sometimes I want to tell her that.
And to be honest, as much as I would like a peaceful dinner, that is a pipe dream in my house. In my house, JT only eats with us about once a week because he is either at work or Trinity Fitness. It is me and 3 boys with our broken table, and barely enough chairs, and an oldest little boy who complains about everything I give him unless it is buttery pasta. I have to remind them 30 times to use their silverware and remember to sit down in their seats, and not to shout, and by the time it is all over my nerves feel completely shot and I wonder what is so great about a family meal.
Sister time helped a lot too.
Over the years we have developed quite a system for it.
He is only happy sitting at home playing Legos.
He is in the process of having testing done by a private psychologist and I am hoping more formal recommendations will get through to the teacher.
He passed the initial gifted screening, but has a more extended test in February. He also completed his IQ testing with the psychologist. He said they asked him to draw a tree and he drew a trapezoid and said the tree had been cut down.
I wonder if he loses or gains points for that?
I love this boy.
He is so unique and beautiful and has so much potential. And that is why I am not willing to let him flounder through it alone. This is only the beginning of what will be a long road for him. The pressures of life will increase, but so will his ability to manage it. But I believe in being proactive.
I was, quite honestly, a negative child too. I spiraled down quickly and became hopeless. And there are days I still struggle like anyone else. But I believe all those struggles I had as a child are what helped me become an overcomer today, and I have that hope for him. But I don't think you can get there without facing it, and I also don't think you can get there without a lot of deep dark days.
It is one of the first of many times that I have to help him the best I can and then place him in the hands of the Father who loves him more than I do. He has good plans for him, I know that.
I ran into last year's teacher a couple days ago and she asked how he was doing. When I told her, she said "Oh poor Aquaman! He is such a brilliant little boy", and I could have hugged her. My mom heart needed to hear that. Not "he's fine. He'll get through it." Not, "he's a total mess."
Just, he's a brilliant boy who is hurting right now.
He's a diamond in the rough.
And now we head out into our Sunday. JT has the day off, but he'll need to sleep a while since he worked from 9 am to 2 am yesterday...luckily our church has a 1 pm service today.
Off to breathe in the magic.
I was watching one of my favorite childhood Christmas movies with the boys yesterday, and I found myself getting tears in my eyes at the magic of Santa. I laughed at myself for a moment until I thought about it and realized that the reason the world is so captivated by Santa is because we all need to believe in something bigger than ourselves, something beautiful, and someone who loves us generously and wants to bless us.
My kids can't really get into Santa because I have always told them that he is just fun to pretend, but they don't see the point.
But the real story of Christmas is so much more beautiful and magical anyway.
Not a a fat man dressed in a creepy suit sneaking into our houses if his elves report that we have been mostly nice all year.
But a baby wrapped in cloths sneaking into our hearts because we have nothing nice inside of us on our own and He wants to save us.
That's the Christmas magic I'll be holding onto this week.