I took out 2 garbage bags for the 12 month clothes...one to save for my sister K's baby...just a few of the cutest or more sentimental items...and one to give to pregnancy resources.
I saved way too many for K. Like the pair of cargo jean shorts that all 3 boys have worn. They have holes by the pockets, but all my little boys looked so cute in them. She will have to throw them away. I can't.
We're not exactly using 100% birth control.
And with a 2 bedroom townhouse we would like to make last another 4 years or so...you have to be very intentional about what you allow to take up space.
This is my last baby.
And he doesn't wear onesies anymore.
For another...I am loving The Dude's experience so far at FBI preschool. He is having so much fun. And on top of that, every time I drop him off I see faces that I have known for years upon years taking my child's hand, and there is something so comforting in that.
I love walking Aquaman to the door of his classroom every morning. I love that we are still in a small enough school to do that. And I love that he wants me to do so.
Because after 3 days of anxiety thinking about this, I read a blog post from 3 years ago...
I was wondering about whether I could continue working part time. I was worried about how God would provide for our family financially...and even more so emotionally and spiritually and physically. I was wondering if we would be able to have the third child I knew would make our family complete.
Because these are my only kids. This is my one shot with them. There are lots of great nurses in the world, but I am the only one who can be their mother.
The only thing slightly out of whack was that I was dehydrated...which isn't surprising because Greystoke nurses all night and the labs were drawn in the morning. And that my LDL levels were slightly elevated. Which is mostly the result of the coconut oil fad....and I'm going to be cutting back on that since it was upsetting my stomach anyway.
There is a good chance I had fifths disease back in June when the swelling and stiffness began, and the rest since then is simply the diagnosis of MO3B again.
So, I need to drink some more water. Which is always tricky because every time I pour a glass someone sticks their fingers in it, or sucks some ice and spits it back in, or accidentally backwashes some cereal into it.
And every time I pee Greystoke follows me screaming at me to read him a book.
And even when Greystoke isn't nursing, someone else is crawling in between us, and Aquaman, the biggest one of all, who is scared even to sleep on the crib mattress on the floor of our room when he is scared because...he can't see anything around him....stretches out on the foot of the bed, and when I tell him I might kick him, he says "that's ok!" and so we let him stay.
Because love can go without a little sleep sometimes.
I am getting old. Time is marching on.
I will age with grace.
After the initial craziness of school starting, things are settling down and I am remembering why I enjoy the school year so much. There is time for individual attention with my kids, and being that I am an introvert, I really really need that time with them.
And so do they.
He can spend hours with little pieces spread all over the table building some new and important invention. He talks a mile a minute about them. I try to pay attention.
Yet the class mom, who I know well from last year, tells me that he had her daughter are at the top of their class for reading. So I don't exactly understand. But it is just another mystery of Aquaman, and it's ok. I think someday he will probably love to read. He just doesn't like anything challenging or boring.
Every night lately, Aquaman has been asking me to read "Let me hold you longer" while he sits in my lap. Maybe it's because he knows his birthday is coming up, and he knows how big he's getting in my lap, and how there's really no room for him at the foot of our bed.
Or maybe it's just because I can never get through it without crying at this part:
"I'll watch you go and think how fast our time together passed."
And he thinks it is absolutely hilarious when I start crying.
But this is it. The dot at the beginning of the line, and it is going so fast. I'm going to live it today. I'm going to drink a big glass of water, and a small cup of coffee and gird up the energy to live fully today.