Wednesday, September 17, 2014

September Song

I give up.

I haven't posted in 2 weeks, and so, right now, at almost dinnertime, when the floor remains strewn with toys and the boys are fighting (again), and I only have one hand to type with because Greystoke is giggling on my shoulder, and refuses to be put down, I'm just going to start typing.

This morning The Dude was up at 5:45, and I thought...perfect,,,now I'll write.
But then the dog had to pee, and I had to pump, and The Dude needed bandaids (2 different times), the dishwasher had to be emptied and refilled, and The Dude's sheets had to be changed because he somehow took off his diaper and wet the bed last night, and we couldn't find the remote control.
And just like that Aquaman was up, and the first thing he said was "i'm HUNGRY" as close to my face as possible, and by then it was time to get everyone ready for school anyway.
Dropped off Aquaman without a hitch (except he left his water bottle in the stroller), then came home, fed the baby, packed up the car and spiked The Dude's hair for his preschool pictures.
Sibling pictures first: check. Greystoke was characteristically cooperative, and The Dude was...well...The Dude.

Greystoke and I left Aquaman's water bottle outside his classroom door since he was at art class, and then I nursed him in the car. He slept all the way to the assisted living facility where we had a new client to see. He slept through half the assessment then sat happily in his seat while I finished and reviewed records, In the 1.5 hours we were there, I never took him out of the stroller, and all e did was smile.


Target for groceries, then lunch for mom and baby in the car. Then floor it back to preschool for 12:30 pickup. Made it with 2 minutes to spare,

We had 2 hours until the next pickup, and I can't think of how we spent that time except I'm pretty sure it involved coffee, laundry, unloading groceries, and cleaning the kitchen.

At pickup we had 2-3 borderline tantrums from The Dude and one full blown one from Aquaman.

After a time out, they had carrots and apples for snack, and The Dude broke the bowl that held his ranch dip into a million pieces, because he was fighting with Aquaman (again).

Then I made them warm milk with honey because I wanted tea.
But my tea got cold while I was putting away the laundry and snuggling Greystoke. Then The Dude drank it.

Right now, they're listening to their Awana CD at the loudest setting possible, and Greystoke just drifted to sleep in my arms.
We'll need to go to the pool soon to burn some energy. Dinner will be the BBQ drumsticks in the crockpot, some raw veggies, and Annie's mac and cheese. Again.

I've thought of all kinds of things I wanted to write these past 2 weeks. All sorts of eloquent and interesting posts. About how great it is to do something that you love for work, even when you're impossibly short staffed, doing way too much work in too small amount of time, and you can't seem to make anyone happy.

About that one starfish. How you can help that one starfish, even if you can't help them all.

About how Aquaman got a surfboard for his birthday, and now he's like, a legitimate surfer, and spends his mornings worried that low tide will happen while he is at school. How he'd rather watch a surf video than a cartoon. Like overnight.

How Aquaman and The Dude have been going to Awana on Sunday afternoons, and though Aquaman complains about the class, he is obsessed with the materials at home. How he's memorized 5 verses already that I know about, and probably more because he holds his eyelids up with toothpicks every night and stays up listening to his CD.

How The Dude suddenly grasped the concept of sin, though he's been doing it for a good long while now.

How they've had spend the nights at Gramma's after Awana, and JT and I have had 2 of the most splendid and glorious evenings together, finishing our conversations without interruption, and watching whole movies at a time, and loving each other.

How it is looking more and more sure that Greystoke is our last sweet baby, and how funny it is that it can make me so happy and yet so desperately sad at the same time.
Because change is always hard, and leaving one phase for another always involves a crisis of identity of some sort.
Watching our oldest turn 6, this incredibly independent, autonomous, confident, big kid age.
Seeming more and more BOY with every year that develops, and how I suddenly realized this week, with great trepidation that


Boys that pee on everything and burp with their mouths open in your face, and take their clothes off every chance they get, and never use their indoor voices, and run into everything because it's fun.

Realizing how important it's going to be to have some girl time in these coming years. Because I may not be a girly girl, but gosh I'm still a girl, and sometimes boys are GROSS.


And for some reason, lately, I've been remembering how when we were in the hospital after having Aquaman, one of the nurses told us as we were leaving: "I just want to tell you something. There are lots of people who come through here, and they all love their new babies. Every one of them. But I've never seen a couple who loves each other as much as you do. I think that's great."

And we left the hospital, and Aquaman cried almost the whole 30 minutes home, and we loved him, but most of all we loved each other. When we were tired and confused, and while we changed and we grew.
And we're getting older. Not old. But not the kids we were back then. And we'll be together forever.
Even once all these days of endless laundry and messes are over, we'll still be figuring out what we want to be when we grow up. Together.

And I love that.

But I didn't have time to write any of those posts. Because Greystoke, my awesome sleeper, has suddenly stopped sleeping very well. And school has started, and work is pressing in, and there's just always something that needs to be done, and that seems more important than sitting down writing a jumbled mess surrounding a bunch of pictures.

But this is me time. The only me time I really take for myself, save my daily shower (which arguably is for everyone else too). And so I'm taking it. Even though the couch has been turned into a fort in the meantime, and The Dude is wiping cry-snot on my legs right now since he just fell down trying to knock it down (so that Aquaman would scream).

It's September. And it's flying by so fast, that I can barely grasp at it, because I love this time of year, with its slightly cooler mornings and it's fun waves, and the smell of apple cinnammon and pumpkin in the air.

Ruined last year by morning sickness and the smell of the oven.

"Oh it's a long long time from May to December, but the days grow short when you reach September."
"And these few precious days I'll spend with you."
"These precious days I'll spend with you."
-September Song
See ya. We better get to the pool before these kids kill each other.

With love, of course.