Saturday, April 12, 2014
I remember reading a month or so ago in Mark, Jesus said "how awful it will be for pregnant and nursing mothers" in reference to the tribulation. And it made me feel so....validated. What a unique life experience is this time. There is the physical vulnerability, of course. And on top of that is the emotional vulnerability. The hormones, of course, but more than that: the sacred responsibility of protecting and sheltering a life that depends completely on you.
My fundal height increased by 5 cm in one week, and it is now measuring only 2 weeks behind. Which is in part because his head went from partially engaged to floating again. Looks like we're in this for the long haul.
I'm in slow motion. Physically, my body wouldn't move fast even if it tried.
Emotionally, I don't mind.
I lay in bed and soak in the way the mattress feels soft on my skin, the way the cool breeze drifts in from the screened balcony and the soft whirring of the fan.
I sit and watch my boys play on the beach, making intricate sand ramps for their monster trucks, and chasing the seagulls.
I rock them both at night, even when the pressure on my belly makes it hard to breathe, and we laugh when we realize that there are FOUR people in one little rocking chair.
I boil the pacifiers, and pack my hospital bag, and put a towel in the car just in case and stare at the carseat, trying to picture it, and watch my youngest-son-on-the-outside, and want to memorize him. Want to stop time, or slow it way way down.
Something beautiful and life changing, and I don't want to miss a moment of it.
Posted by Joy at Saturday, April 12, 2014