Saturday, December 7, 2013
"All for one, and one for all", I am going to have the incredible privilege of being surrounded by handsome men these next few years. And, in about 15 years...more girls than I can probably imagine. ;)
Our ultrasound was Tuesday. The days and weeks leading up to the big ultrasound always find me restless and impatient. This particular time, I had 2 separate nightmares in which the second they placed the Doppler on my abdomen, it was obvious that there were serious birth defects. It doesn't help that this was the first baby in which I skipped many many prenatal vitamins, ate horribly, and took medications during the first trimester because I felt so terrible.
To compound the climax of it all, on Monday night, just as we settled down to watch Charlie Brown Christmas, Aquaman landed squarely knees first on my uterus.
My stomach hurt all night, and I woke about every hour hoping for the reassurance of feeling the baby move, but he was oddly quiet.
By the time we arrived for our appointment at 9 am, I cannot describe the relief of seeing this little face on the screen. Of hearing the ultrasound tech say, reassuringly: "here I am Mommy. See? I'm ok."
I didn't care whether they even got a glimpse between his legs.
New life is always awe inspiring, but this particular time, I was blown away.
My little baby is 6 inches, and he is so intricately made.
The doctor started with his brain, magnified on the big screen to what he called "ridiculous proportions", meandered slowly down the spine, through the heart, all the way to the tips of his toes, which he kept neatly tucked underneath him., and then pronounced "from what we can see? Perfect."
All of the many things that can go wrong, and yet somehow, most of the time, all of those things line up perfectly, and new life emerges, soft and pliable and ready to grow. It's not chance.
I fell deeply in love with my son on Tuesday morning. As I watched the way he snuggled up close to the placenta, stroking and hugging it.
I fell even more deeply in love with My Creator, who made this little boy. Who protected him, when I felt I could not. Who thought of all of these great and wonderful things to bless His people with, just because He is good.
When the tech finally went looking for the gender, it only took a moment to discern that we were having our 3rd son. He wasn't shy.
Leading up to the ultrasound, I feared that, if it was a boy, there would be a flash of disappointment.
We are 99% sure that this is our grand finale, and most people hope to experience raising both genders.
But I can honestly say, I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was not even a bit of it. All I felt was laughter, bubbling up from somewhere deep within me.
We are going to have so much fun.
They are going to be such good friends.
When I saw this picture I took at the zoo a couple weeks ago, before I knew what the future held, I immediately saw another face behind it. It was decidedly male.
I can't wait to see them all together.
I won't be missing out on anything by not having a daughter. I do feel pity for those women, decidedly girly, who end up with a house full of boys.
But I never really dreamed of doing little girl hair and painting fingernails.
When I was a child, one of my favorite books was "Little Men", not "Little Women".
I dreamed of having a houseful of boys.
I dreamed of mischief and action and sports and mud and raising men who loved the Lord.
I'm living my dream.
I didn't really count on how often they'd miss the toilet, or the pain of unexpected tackles, but those are the bonus side effects of living your dreams. There is no joy without a little pain.
This little guy will fit neatly into the group, and forever be "one of the McVicker boys."
Probably a bit less highly sensitive, shepherding and rule oriented than his oldest brother, probably not quite as hilarious and charming as the next oldest. Possibly not even having a shade of red or curl in his hair. But, I bet he'll be just as energetic, just as affectionate, and just as much fun.
Last night we had both sets of grandparents, his Aunt J and her friend M over to celebrate, and make our announcement. They brought a picture frame for the ultrasound picture, and this book:
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Posted by Joy at Saturday, December 07, 2013