Thursday, October 17, 2013

A Kick in the Face

 Last weekend I felt better for all of about 4 days. My energy came back, the nausea waned, and I started to think I was in the clear.
Thanks to Asher's teacher's brilliant idea of putting food coloring in the water table at school, Aquaman and The Dude kept busy enough playing to let me finally get the kitchen clean. It took 4 days to get the refrigerator, cabinets, and cupboards bleached, wiped down, and reorganized. Then I look around at the rest of the house, and I got tired again...
That's why I didn't blog last week. I knew that burst of energy and lack of disgust for the kitchen probably wasn't here to stay, and figured I'd better take advantage of it.
Thursday and Friday the weather was beautiful. Friday morning we walked to school and the boys insisted on wearing jackets.
My camera's broken, and while I decide whether to have it repaired, cheap-phone photos will have to do.
They work pretty well.
We met Noni and Papa and the V crew at the zoo on Saturday morning and had a great time. In the morning it felt a tad like fall.
By noon when we left, it was decidedly summer.
I'm tired of summer. It makes me nauseous. .
Oh wait, that's the baby.

Today I am back to being able to do just about....nothing.
My 12 week appointment was this morning, and it was amazing. It lasted exactly 20 minutes from when I walked in the door of the office. I gained 2 pounds, which I'm surprised was not more because even though food mostly disgusts me, I can't stop eating it, thinking somehow it will help, and I can't seem to eat healthy food at all. Then again, it was a morning weight.
The doctor wasn't there, as he was delivering a baby, so I saw the nurse practitioner who warned me she doesn't do this very often so she might not be able to pick up the heartbeat since I'm still pretty early. We heard it right away. And about 10 seconds into listening to that wonderful sound, we heard another one: "BOOM!" and then again: "BOOM!"
The baby was kicking the Doppler.
The best part about it was, I realized that those tiny feelings like a bubble is popping inside of me were indeed the baby, as I had been wondering.
The nurse practitioner said she'd never heard a 12 week baby kick the doppler before, but I wasn't entirely surprised. He/she is going to fit right into our family.

JT told me the story when we were dating that when he was in the Turks and Caicos swimming between the islands, a large shark came swimming towards him. He was at least 1/2 a mile from shore and nowhere to go. I asked him what he did. He said he curled up into a ball and when the shark came close, he kicked him right in the face.
My husband kicked a shark in the face. 
And the best part is, he gets really embarrassed when I tell that story. 

And so far, all of my children are following in those footsteps, in their own way.

The week at Sunday School, Aquaman made a picture for his best friend at school. He wrote his name on it and then glued the bible verse onto it, about loving with the love of God.
When he gave it to his friend, his friend said he didn't like it, because *eww* it said the word Love in it.
Aquaman cried.
Aquaman cries a lot. And sometimes he has to be urged forward. But the thing about Aquaman, is that he always gets back up and keeps going, even if he's afraid, and maybe especially if he's afraid.
It was a great opportunity to tell him that his friend may very well not know about God's love, which completely shocked him. He resolved that he would tell him.
The Dude is a mini JT. He will kick many a shark in the face, I surmise.
At my 20 minute appt this morning, I was armed with new recommendations for dealing with this crippling nausea, and the new realization of just how real and amazing this life, the size of a plum, growing inside of me is.

I stopped off at the beach and held this sweet baby A, who is hardly a baby anymore, and whom I was terrified would not remember me, but she reached right out with a big beautiful grin and held me and we all sat on the beach together for a while.
I'm not getting much accomplished right now, on the outside. The boys are playing in homemade quicksand (back to Pinterest), dinner is in the oven, and I hope I can survive the smell of it, because the take out bills are getting ridiculous. The laundry is put away, but the floor still needs to be vacuumed and the bathrooms are begging to be cleaned, and there is certainly something more important I should be doing.

But after today, those few short seconds of whoosh-whoosh-whoosh and those two big BOOMS, I feel like I'm doing pretty important just sitting here drinking my ginger ale.
I'm not doing anything, but I'm letting God do it...inside of me. I've stopped striving, I'm being still.

I'm knowing that He alone is God, the creator of the miracle of life. The One who will be exalted-both in Heaven, and here on earth, even surrounded by all the dripped off quicksand and cracker crumbs and in this pathetic and weary body that is just barely starting to show, and just barely keeping it all together.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for that informative and entertaining "missive".