Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thankfuls


This thanksgiving finds my heart swimming with gratitude.

Life is good. It's simple. We're healthy, we're happy, our marriage is strong, our children are developing normally.

Life is hard. It can be confusing. We search, we hurt, we hurt each other. We apologize. Our children grow and change and we change along with them.

I'm thankful for the good things, and I am ever thankful for the hard things that shape us and soften us, draw us closer, and make us stronger for the road ahead.

I am most thankful for prayer. For a relationship with a Living God.

"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving".
Colossians 4:2

I'm thankful that He is ever present. That though sometimes I can go all day stewing over things in my head, trying to solve my own problems, or just soaking in my own emotions, the moment I turn to Him- turn it over to Him, He takes it. Thankful for the reminder of who I am in His presence. The shrinking, the humility, the raw filth and the resulting brokenness. The filling and enabling. The strength.

I'm thankful for middle-of-the-night prayers, warm under the blanket. 20 month old footy pajama feet tucked against my body, curly hair brushing a mother's kiss. For not having to be anxious about the future, be it tomorrow or 20 years from now.

Thankful for the thanksgiving season prayers that have brought about new seed sowing in the heart of my 4 year old son. Thankful for his calling to me to lay with him right before he falls asleep, and for a husband who does not resent it. For his trusting me with his questions about Jesus, and his hesitations, and his innocence. I'm thankful for glimpses of the future in his sparkly blue eyes. For the newfound respect that has been growing in my heart for him as I watch him turn into his own person with his own purpose and talents and passions.

So so thankful for the opportunity to share with him what it means to follow Christ. Having had not nearly as much experience evangelizing as I should, being this many years a Christian; the dizziness of sharing in that moment when you know a heart is being deeply spoken to, that a life is close to changing is nonetheless as exciting each subsequent time as the first. And multiplied many times over when the young disciple is your own child.


I'm thankful for Florida Novembers. For playing in the pool (!) and eating dinner by the fire pit in our courtyard.

For thanksgiving memories of large family gatherings and impromptu kickball games and football tossing, and the hope of more of the same in the future.

Thankful to be entering the Christmas season, when life becomes more intentional. When the calandar, and our hearts, are full.

Believe it or not, I'm thankful that life's not exactly what I thought it would be. That people aren't exactly who I think they should be. And that there's a place I'm going someday where it will all make sense, and it doesn't have to down here.

Thank You God, for thanksgiving. For prayers of thanksgiving and with thanksgiving, and for another year to celebrate You.

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